Up in open sky
colours spread all around us
here, a rainbow shines
Explication:
I chose to do this poem in the form of a haiku because it was a short style of poem that greatly appealed to me. This haiku is done in the traditional way of incorporating 17 syllables in lines of 5, 7, and 5 respectively. Other than the possible presence of assonance in both lines 1 and 2, I did not use any poetic devices to make this poem. I chose to make this poem a bit different by relating colour to an element of the sky as opposed to material objects like I did in a few of my other poems. I tried to use as much imagery as I could and I chose to incorporate the impression of a rainbow as it contains every colour within it and it relates well to my theme.
Alistair, I found your description of a 'shining rainbow' interesting as people often describe rainbows as faint or whispy. However, shining does make for a much clearly image in the reader's mind and was probably the better choice. I also liked the simplicity of the haiku and the clarity of your description! Good job.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful haiku Alistair! I often find that no matter how short haikus may seem at first, they always tell a wonderful story. Your story is wonderful, with the colors spreading around us, and a rainbow shining. I love how it relates to your theme, but you're not limited by the colors theme.
ReplyDeletegreat haiku! It is short,but i still get such a wonderfully vivid image of the sky in my mind! great original piece.
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